What Shamu taught me about a Happy Marriage

I mentioned earlier that I have read a lot of dog training books. My neighbor ( a dog trainer ) loaned me this book. It started as a Modern Love essay that eventually became the most emailed nytimes story of the year. The book details the author's year with the students at a renowned school for professional animal trainers. The lesson she learned was basically reward the behavior you want and ignore the behavior you don't. There is never a no. There is a 'how about this other, better thing over here?' There is silence, praise, reward, and redirection never resistance. The tai chi of relationships.

Here is a pic our dog to be:

Eyes to the Wind

I first heard about Ady Barkan when he confronted AZ Senator Jeff Flake about the Trump tax cut bill in 2017. Ady is a brilliant, radical activist attorney with Ivy League credentials who was diagnosed with ALS at 32. He received a death sentence at 32 a few months after the birth of his first child and a few months before the election of Trump.

His memoir tells his remarkable story. While the premise of his story sounds so sad (and IT IS COMPLETELY TRAGIC AND UNFAIR) it's also oddly hopeful and inspiring. He is using every tool he has to fight our slide into authoritarianism and fascism. Every time I think I don't feel like contacting this representative or participating in that civic event, I think of him and move forward.

Many many dog behavior and training books

We are getting a dog in about two months. It's been a long road to this dog. Ryan has an allergy so it's a dog that doesn't shed. Dogs make Jack nervous so it's a dog with a kind temperament. I've never owned a dog so we needed a dog that is easier than others to train.

So far, I have read Inside of a Dog by Alexandra Horowitz, The Art of Raising a Puppy by the Monks of Skete, Let Dogs by Dogs by the Monks of Skete, The Puppy Primer by Patricia McDonnell, and one other train a puppy guide but I can't remember the title. I've also watched youtube videos by Pawsitive Dog Training and Rachel Fusaro.

I have learned a lot but the real learning will happen when we get the dog. I'll keep you posted.

High school reunion SF

I visited San Francisco at the end of September. Great city! All of my high school friends converged and we had a great time. Not much else to say .. we really enjoyed chatting, walking around the city and eating good food.

I've known these people for 33 years

Canada!

I was prepared to leave Seattle in August if there were fires. It rained a lot instead of burning and I'll take a rainy summer any day.. less apocalyptic. Since there were no fires, we stayed in the great Northwest and went to Vancouver.

My mom came with us which was brave of her. We spent two nights at an AirBnB in the Kitsilano beach neighborhood (a new favorite). We visited the largest pool in North America - over 100 meters long. We walked over the Capilano suspension bridge and visited their Redwood park that looked a lot like a Redwood park we visited in New Zealand. We visited their amazing science center and experienced the Fly Over Canada ride.

The kids fought a lot. It was annoying. Our third night we visited the very cool Fairmont in the Vancouver Airport. When we arrived, I put my feet up and wanted to watch a home decorating show on the large TV in our room. The kids instantly started to complain.. they wanted to watch their own show, this wasn't fair, blah blah etc. My mom looked very confused by this behavior. Her children did not do this apparently. She told them it did not matter what they wanted. Their mom was paying for the room so they needed to do what I wanted. This was news to all of us. The kids were so shocked by this idea they were quiet, and I started to consider that 'it doesn't matter what you want' might be something to add to a book I am writing called 'How to make your children less whiney and entitled.'

Kits beach pool

lots of people can visit the pool at one time

Capilano suspension bridge park

All tourists visit the bridge apparently

The Truth About Social Security

There are books I cannot stop talking about. Bad Blood is still one of those books. The Truth about Social Security is now another. Everything you think about social security is a right wing talking point. You think of it as part of the general federal budget, believe the money has already spent, that the program is going bankrupt, it wasn't intended to be your sole source of retirement income, that it's an entitlement, and (if you are under 50) will not be there for you when you retire.  All of those things are complete lies. I am most struck by how completely I have absorbed the right wing propaganda about this program.

The author, Nancy Altman, started her career as a tax lawyer after attending 2 Ivy League universities. She served as a legislative assistant to a Republican Senator in the 70's before the Republicans became crazy, doublespeak peddling devotees of Lenin. She moved on to work in the field of private pensions and then served as Alan Greenspan's assistant in the early 80's when he was chair of a bipartisan committee that developed amendments to the Social Security law. Since then she has worked in public service either directly or indirectly with the Social Security program.

When I tell people that everything they know about social security is not true, they do not believe me. But that is because everything they know, they've heard from the media. Unfortunately, it is hard to get good information on complex issues from the media these days. They seem to feel they have to tell you both sides which in this case is here are some lies and here is the truth, you decide which is which. And of course, you cannot.

The facts of the program are well documented and publicly available. The book is filled with speeches from founders of the program as well as congressional testimony from the time Congress was debating the program. Altman explains that the social security administration employs 40 actuaries. She breaks down actuarial terms and data which isn't great for bedtime reading but interesting earlier in the day.

Reading this book was reassuring -- what a great program! well designed! -- and terrifying -- these crazy people are close to fulfilling their dream of destroying this program.

Nothing to do but keep on fighting the good fight.

Sula

In honor of Toni Morrison, my book group chose the book Sula for the month of September. When I was a sophomore in college I read Beloved, and I understood none of it. My experience being required to read books seem to deplete my engagement with the book and turn it into figuring out what I needed to know about the book for a grade.

Maybe if I'd read Beloved under different circumstances, I may have understood more. But then I was reading the book around the time of the riots caused by the exoneration of the police when they severely beat Rodney King. I remember at the time thinking .. huh. well, I have never had that experience with the police. So, I didn't understand much.

Toni Morrison seems to paint scenes as she writes.. I've never read anything so deep, lyrical and mystical. Sula was her second book written in the early 70's. It is really, truly sad but somehow sort of hopeful in that one of the themes is strong women who can survive anything. I still probably didn't understand half of it.

mystery book

I have a friend who writes books. That is her career. When I tell people that they look at me like I said, 'I have a friend who lives on the moon.' Sure you do. But I do! Good books published by real publishers that win awards and end up on famous lists.

anyway, I read her latest unpublished book. It is so good I am sorry it is not published. I can't say anything else though. Big secrets. When it is available for pre-sale, I will buy 10 copies because people are going to love it so much it will be a great gift.

You don't need more information because when it comes out, you will hear about it.

Bad Blood

It is really hard to find the words to describe the events of this book. In Bill Gates' review of the book, he called the events "insane." Review here.  It is hard not to compare Elizabeth Holmes, the founder of the now defunct Theranos, to Donald Trump. They are both narcissists or they are both evil but I sincerely hope it's the former. Narcissists have no empathy for others. They lie constantly to support their own grandiose self-image.

The most phenomenal and unbelievable part of this book is not that this woman is a vicious liar but the people that she fooled -- Henry Kissinger, Larry Ellison, Rupert Murdoch, David Boies, Jim Mattis (among others). Now, I care very little that these men either lost a great deal of money or sustained damage to their reputations or both. Given their positions in the world, I wonder how they were so thoroughly fooled. The fact that they were fooled gave Holmes the foundation to fool the rest of Silicon Valley. It wouldn't matter at all if Theranos had been a software company but they produced a health care product that caused many, many people to suffer.

The only silver lining of this horrible story is that it would not have been exposed if it weren't for many brave people who put the interests of public safety ahead of their own. The journalist, John Carreyou, and the management of the Wall Street Journal also deserve credit for their integrity and unwillingness to be intimidated by very powerful people. Lastly, Rupert Murdoch could have killed this story but didn't. And while he has mostly created evil in the world, I admired that decision.

Incredible read. I am not at all surprised it will be a movie soon. It's a very classic tale of good vs evil. It is probably the story of our current era.

Maisie Dobbs

While in Greece, I ran out of books to read. My travel partner handed me Maisie Dobbs right after I had finished The Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency. A blurb at the top of Maisie Dobbs promised that it was in the same spirit as Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency. I really enjoyed the book but it was not quite as uplifting as the Number 1 book.  Half of the book takes place during World War I and I cannot think of a less uplifting topic. However, it's a great read and the characters were inspiring.

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency

The home that hosted our yoga retreat had a lending library and that's where I found this book. The blurb on the front says "One of the best, most charming, honest, hilarious and life-affirming books to appear in years." I'll take anything life-affirming so I read it and it delivered. The story takes place in Botswana. The hero is a lady detective who is a very clever, independent, no nonsense gal. She solves many mysteries and we meet lots of good and decent characters. A fun holiday read.

A Husband's Secret

This is another Liane Moriarty book. I saw lots of tourists on the beaches and in the airports with her books. They are easy to read -- fun and light. I didn't love this book though. It had some good twists and turns but in the end, it wasn't that compelling. I can that she used the frame of this book to build the plot of Big Little Lies -- a far better story. So far, I can only recommend Big Little Lies. I am not sure why the other books are so popular.

Final days in Greece

We left our lovely yoga retreat early Saturday morning. We took a bus, then a boat, then another bus to get to the airport on the island of Kefalonia. We traveled by plane for 40 minutes to Athens, dropped our stuff at our airport hotel and headed back into the city by bus. Taking a bus is a great way to avoid tourists and see parts of Athens we wouldn't otherwise see.

We wandered around the city center then met another college friend and her family for dinner. They happened to be in Greece at the same time. It's funny to be so far away then hanging out with friends from your life on the other side of the world. My friend has two 16 year old boys and their trip was quite different from ours -- lots of scuba diving around Greece and Italy.

Syntagma square -- Greece's parliament building in the background

We began our long journey home Sunday morning. We flew to London then to Vancouver then drove back to Seattle. 24 hours of travel. Flying out of Vancouver was $1000 cheaper (between 2 tickets) so we decided the extra time was worth it. 

I am happy to be home in beautiful Seattle.

Living the dream

Yesterday, we took an excursion to the other side of Ithaca. Our retreat chartered some small boats to take us to different remote beaches. We hung out, we swam, we chatted.

woohoo! boat trip

first nice beach

lunch!

view during lunch

second nice beach

giant sail boat - many fancy boats in the Ionian Sea 

outside local jewelry store in Kione 

garlic!

Today, we got up at 430am to go to a monastery at the highest point on the island to watch the sun rise. I know that sunrise and sunset pictures are generally boring. However, the live show was lovely -- very meditative. We watched the changing colors, and listened to the bugs and birds wake up for the day. We walked around the monastery -- founded during the 1500's but I do not think any of those buildings survive today. No monks were there either. 

Some thoughts on travel

When I lived in Italy in 1992, there was no Euro, no internet, no globalization, no cell phones, and no cheap air fare.  In 1992, during the months of October, April and May, I saw lots of tourists but I always knew exactly where they were from. Germans dressed one way, the French another, and so on. There were no Asian tourists (unless they were Asian-American or Canadian), no tourists from India (same parens). November - March, there were no tourists at all.. or there were so few, one did not notice them. In fact, traveling in Europe during those months, there were no crowds at museums or hostels, no lines at train stations.

All of that has changed. I was shocked when I visited Florence in 2015 by how much it had changed. As I said in an earlier post, the center of Florence is no longer a place people live. It is only a place people visit so it feels like a replica of Florence.. not a real place. Athens has that same feeling as I suspect most frequently visited European capitals do.

I am now in a very remote place in Greece and it is not over run with tourists but there are still lots of foreigners here. It is very easy for people to travel here. They can even live here because of the EU. While I still think Europe is really amazing, I have questioned my drive for a well-traveled life.

I think it very important for everyone to retreat from their life every now and then. But I am not sure I need to go 6000 miles to do it. Greece looks a lot like California. Hawaii looks a lot like Indonesia. British Columbia looks a lot like Switzerland. The cultural experience of travel is at least as important as a change in geography but I am not sure how much culture I get when all the popular places are white-washed for tourism. The people all look exactly the same -- they all buy clothes at H&M or Zara. I have to hear people speak to know where they're from. In Athens I played a game called Greek or tourist? I would guess where people I saw where from and once I approached them I could tell by their language. I was always wrong. I confused Americans for Greeks and vice versa.

I am very happy to be where I am. Here are more pictures of the retreat/home where we are staying

http://itha108.com/gallery/

It is a dream. I am grateful to have made the journey. I think, however, in the future I will need more than a retreat to draw me so far away.

Random note: For some reason, the Greek Air Force sends fighter jets very low over the water in front of this home a few times a day. After a quick internet search I learned this small country of 10 million has three branches of the military and 8 air force bases.  Not what I'd expect although I guess they really didn't like it when the Nazis occupied them.. or the Ottomans or anyone else. So arm up I suppose?

Journey to Ithaca

Homer ended the Odyssey in Ithaca. We also had a long journey to travel a relatively short distance.

We enjoyed our short time in Kefalonia or Cephalonia. There doesn't seem to be much consistency in the way Greeks spell their cities and roads in English. I can't blame them. It's also nice of them to try. We ate a lovely fish dinner on the water.

We ate breakfast near our hotel also on the water. I drank my new favorite drink: cappuccino freddo.

We then took a taxi back to the airport, boarded a bus for about an hour. We waited about 40 minutes while the boat took half our group to Ithaca. Then we rode the boat for 20 minutes.

We drove another 20-30 minutes to the home where the retreat is held.

The home is owned by a Swiss woman who apparently made a lot of money in banking. She built it as a place to hold yoga retreats and small retreat gatherings. The rumor is that this is the last year this retreat will be held as she is planning to remodel her home to attract a more upscale clientele. It is hard to imagine what she is going to do as the place already looks like the set of a Lululemon photo shoot.

we can eat outside or inside

we practice yoga here. Ionian sea behind trees. Cicadas in trees.

view from my room

Other part of the view

stairway to second floor. House seems to have been built in concrete then stained white.

one of the doors to the Ionian sea.

library -- faces outside deck which also has a view

after walking out the door, you walk to this beach.

hang out here with rented umbrella and lounge chair and very few other people

predictable greek man wearing thong while everyone snickers at him. ok maybe just the Americans and British are laughing.. I can't tell.

Thong man's dog.

Today was a bit overcast in the morning.  Because of the cooler weather I could take a walk around the property. I saw a few ruins.. maybe ruins? They looked like structures that had once been homes but had now fallen apart. There were in tact homes as well. Some plain some fancier but no mansions around here yet.

I suspect this place has been here a while

Our schedule is a morning meditation from 745-815, Yoga at 830. Breakfast at 10 the break until lunch at 2. Yoga again at 630 and dinner at 830PM. Our teacher has asked that we are silent until the end of the morning yoga class. During the breaks, we read, go to the beach, go on walks, hang out. Lots of retreating. 

What Alice Forgot

The premise of this book is clever. A 39 year old woman hits her head and forgets the last ten years of her life. Unfortunately, the rest of the book is predictable and slow. The end.

Kefalonia

Today we flew to Kefalonia. We will be here one night then go to Ithaca for our one week yoga retreat.

Our flight was only 40 minutes. Propeller plane!

warm Ionian sea

restaurant on the beach

Greece

A while ago, I decided to go to Greece. Now that I am here, it feels like a strange decision. Greece is really, really far away -- 6160 miles. Last year, a yoga teacher mentioned that she ran a retreat on a remote Greek island. Without any investigation I decided I should go.  Earlier this year, I signed up for the retreat then realized that Greece is almost more middle east than western Europe.

I used to make a lot of my life decisions this way but my impulsive ways have been tempered by the reality of children. I tend to think through my decisions more as they effect many people.

So I am here and it is great but it also feels like I am living someone else's life.

I am traveling with a friend from my SU days. We decided to leave from Vancouver Canada as the flight was much cheaper even if we factored a night in a hotel in Vancouver. We stayed at the coolest airport hotel in the US.. it actually won an award. It's the Fairmont at Vancouver International Airport.

This is the view from our room! a runway. Plus you walk outside the hotel and you are in the airport. It would be exciting for the kids.

we ordered room service because we got to the hotel pretty late

We were delayed MANY hours in the Montreal Airport. I saw this Nintendo display and thought of Jack.

We finally boarded our plane and flew for 9 hours.

Our first full day, we took a mythology tour. We visited many ancient Greek historical sites including the Acropolis

Parthenon - dedicated to Athena

Every day, 25,000 people visit the Acropolis. 

Temple of Zeus

Temple of Hephaestus

It was very hot on our first day -- 100 degrees. So we spent a couple of hours at our AirBnB before leaving again for the Acropolis museum. It has many original piece of the Acropolis and a lot of the history. We were pretty tired though. My only picture is the LEGO replica of the Acropolis.

On our second day, we took an excellent tour called Culinary Back Streets of Athens. It was a 7 hour food tour. We learned so much about Greek culture, history and food. They have great food here.

31 million people visit Greece which has a population of 10 million.  To put that in perspective, in 2014, 75 million people visited the US. To have the proportional amount of tourists, we would need 1 billion people to visit the US every year. The central core of Athens which has existed for at least 2000 years seems to exist for tourists. I barely felt like a foreigner. There are a lot of English speakers, all the restaurants have English language menus. There are also a lot of people from other countries -- I heard lots of Spanish and Italian speakers. The center of Athens is very cool but it reminds me of the center of Florence or Amsterdam. It doesn't seem to be a place where people live. It's a place people visit. 

Half of the Greek population lives in Athens -- It is a sprawling city with only one tall building (20 stories).  We ventured outside the center looking for authentic Greek yogurt (made from sheep's milk -- I was not a fan) the city became much louder, grittier, and chaotic... like any big city.

Back to our tour: we ate all day. It was great fun.

pastries!

Byzantine church with hotel built around it

candied mandarins

greek coffee - different but good

the Greeks read the patterns of the coffee grounds to tell your future

lots of interesting graffiti.