Big Little Lies

This is a really good mystery. Last Wednesday, I listened to the book until at least 2 am in order to finish it. The characters are flawed but likable. There are lots of great twists and an ending I never could have predicted.

Everyone will enjoy the suspense of Big Little Lies but today's parents will recognize themselves and their lives in the story line. We meet three different moms, each with a child starting kindergarten. Each mom is quite different .. socio-economically, age, educational background.. but in ways they are the same -- vulnerable, survivors, each gave up something for their children. The superficial dramas presented within the new kindergarten community are very familiar: parents who want advanced learners, parents who hover, parents whose identities are tangled with their children's.. all the parents seem a little crazy .. like today's parents.

HBO made a show of the book. After watching the first episode, I lost interest. The characters on the show are not nuanced in the way they were in the book. They are caricatures of the people in the book.. 2 dimensional.. less interesting.. not likable. It's such a great story though that I might return to it.   

The Trouble with Diversity

I often pick up books at my local library that are recommended by the librarians. They display interesting and popular books that have landed there from other branches.

This book was great because it challenged MANY of my ideas about why I am a good person regarding race and class. I don't discriminate, right? We are all the same.

He explained race isn't actually a thing. There is nothing in a person's DNA that will tell you their race. Essentially, a person's race is whatever they say it is.  I remember meeting a white skinned girl 13 year old girl who identified as African american. Her mom was white, her skin was white, but she did have some vaguely African features so she said she was black.

The author claims we have become obsessed with diversity as a marker to prove our institutions and ourselves are not racist or that they have no bias .. look! there are brown people here. That obsession with diversity allows to ignore a deep moral problem in our country: poverty and the growing income gap.

He also claimed that one culture or one language can never be superior to another. There is nothing about one that is better than another other than the fact that one is mine and the other is yours. Current debate between the left and the right on issues of culture and identity are really two sides of the same coin... and both allow us to continue to ignore the suffering of many Americans due to the structure of capitalism here. We could change what we value but we don't. So only superficial changes are made.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Neil Gaiman wrote this book. I had never heard of him but he is a very prolific writer -- comic books, science fiction, novels, kids books.. he does it all.

I wish I could talk to him because I have no idea what this book was about.. He says he is very proud of this story. When I read it, I felt like I was reading a very accurate description of someone's dream.. maybe on a night they took cold medicine. A woman in my book club recommended it after finding it on a list of "good feminist books." Other than the presence of a family of three generations of women who have mystical power, I am not sure why it is considered a feminist book.

I just don't know.

That said, I enjoyed reading it.

Whistler!

! because Whistler is one of my favorite places. I love snow because of the silence. The mountains that make the resort are unlike anything in Washington state.  It's a beautiful place with phenomenal skiing. After purchasing an edge pass, skiing there is cheaper than it is locally. All good things.

Born a crime

When I saw this book in the book store, I assumed it could not be that interesting. Lots of people have 1 white parent and 1 black parent. Lots of people are from South Africa. Since Trevor Noah hosts the Daily Show, I assumed he came from a privileged background because how else could he be here now? His father was probably a diplomat.

Sometimes, I am amazed about how much I don't know about anything.

Trevor Noah's story is really incredible. He was born in South Africa during apartheid. His parents were not married because they could not legally marry. His mother had to hide him from the police for the first few years of his life until it was no longer illegal for a black and white person to have a child. He grew up in Sowetto. His mother raised him and she has to be one of the most dedicated and incredible parents I have ever met by memoir. She was really clear about her values. They spent A LOT of time in church and she really didn't care what Trevor thought about that. His life was so filled with obstacles and hardship, it's just a miracle that he ever arrived here.

But, I finally understood why he was chosen to take over Jon Stewart's position at the Daily Show. No one could really fill Stewart's shoes. Noah is probably the only person on the planet with the resilience to do it. He could take his time to make the show his own because whatever he'd experience in the meantime was nothing compared to the challenges he faced growing up.

Incredible story.

Going Gray

A few months ago, I decided to let my gray hair grow out. I was talking to the kids' dentist... admiring her hair even though I had no idea why. She got very excited and introduced me to the world of  "going gray". It's a thing, apparently.

She recommended the book Going Gray, told me about facebook pages, showed me pictures, and talked about her own process. After reading the book, I see why the decision feels so big to some women. The author felt she needed to answer questions like "am I letting myself go?" and "will men still be attracted to me?". Anne Kraemer was a successful businesswoman. At one point, she was a VP at MTV (Nickelodeon, more specifically). I appreciate how genuine and open she was about her experience going gray. She also answered questions that I don't need answered. She did this by creating a profile on match.com, going to a straight bar, going to a lesbian bar, and lunching with male friends to hear their opinions.

If you don't like my gray hair, you can tell me. But your opinion won't influence me. I am too old. Also, I am tired of trying to figure out what color my hair should be. It just makes sense to let it be the color it is.

The Sleeping Lady

It's a destination.

I spent the weekend at a yoga retreat at the Sleeping Lady resort. It's pure luxury. No demands. No chores. Just yoga, cross country skiing, relaxing, reading, & eating while surrounded by amazing beauty. The mountains around Leavenworth are as beautiful as the Swiss Alps. I suppose that's why the town decided to create a Bavarian theme.. in case you didn't notice the mountains, you'd think.. hey, that Bavarian themed bank reminds me of something.

My friend and I have attended this retreat two years in a row and hope to make it a regular thing. My everyday life is great.. it can also be tiring. When I return from this retreat, I cannot believe how rested I feel and how tired I was. I am so grateful for the opportunity to recharge.