Hillbilly Elegy

JD Vance had a really hard childhood. Being poor wasn't what was hard but rather what the poverty and its extended circumstances seemed to do to his family. His mother became drug-addicted when he was 8. His biological father was out of the picture early and his mom had a different boyfriend every year. Luckily, JD had loving grandparents and a caring older sister, and he joined the marines at 18. That combination seemed to save him from a miserable adult life.

This book was really easy to read in spite of how sad it is. My dad came from these hillbilly people but his family was not like this one. No drug addiction, cruelty, or neglect. But he had a large family who had enough money to live and pride about who they were. JD seems to think attending church would help communities like his but my dad's family never went and they were ok. However, they had what JD thinks church provides: good values, a sense of service and obligation to the family and community, and the knowledge one belongs.

Vance does not think government programs (welfare) are doing any good. I don't have any answers myself. It would be nice if there were more living wage jobs throughout the country. It would be nice if corporations that did business in the US had some obligation to their workers. Hard to see that happening. It's easy to see JD Vance running for public office, and I hope he holds on to his roots. It might help.

Zen Monastery Peace Center

I spent the last week of April at a monastery 2 hours east of Oakland, CA. The monastery is on 300 acres of land at the foot of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.. where the California gold rush happened in the 19th century.

The retreat was mostly silent. We don't interact at all with other people on the retreat but there are lead group discussions so we do talk occasionally. There are no distractions -- no phone, no books, no internet, no screens, no music. I read the monastery guide book several times just to have something to do. I walked a lot. No distractions is a completely different life experience. Everything slows down. The brain gets louder at first then it slows down too.

It's such a unique experience to live in silence and to not have to be a personality. It was great. I hope to return every year.

Big Little Lies

This is a really good mystery. Last Wednesday, I listened to the book until at least 2 am in order to finish it. The characters are flawed but likable. There are lots of great twists and an ending I never could have predicted.

Everyone will enjoy the suspense of Big Little Lies but today's parents will recognize themselves and their lives in the story line. We meet three different moms, each with a child starting kindergarten. Each mom is quite different .. socio-economically, age, educational background.. but in ways they are the same -- vulnerable, survivors, each gave up something for their children. The superficial dramas presented within the new kindergarten community are very familiar: parents who want advanced learners, parents who hover, parents whose identities are tangled with their children's.. all the parents seem a little crazy .. like today's parents.

HBO made a show of the book. After watching the first episode, I lost interest. The characters on the show are not nuanced in the way they were in the book. They are caricatures of the people in the book.. 2 dimensional.. less interesting.. not likable. It's such a great story though that I might return to it.   

The Trouble with Diversity

I often pick up books at my local library that are recommended by the librarians. They display interesting and popular books that have landed there from other branches.

This book was great because it challenged MANY of my ideas about why I am a good person regarding race and class. I don't discriminate, right? We are all the same.

He explained race isn't actually a thing. There is nothing in a person's DNA that will tell you their race. Essentially, a person's race is whatever they say it is.  I remember meeting a white skinned girl 13 year old girl who identified as African american. Her mom was white, her skin was white, but she did have some vaguely African features so she said she was black.

The author claims we have become obsessed with diversity as a marker to prove our institutions and ourselves are not racist or that they have no bias .. look! there are brown people here. That obsession with diversity allows to ignore a deep moral problem in our country: poverty and the growing income gap.

He also claimed that one culture or one language can never be superior to another. There is nothing about one that is better than another other than the fact that one is mine and the other is yours. Current debate between the left and the right on issues of culture and identity are really two sides of the same coin... and both allow us to continue to ignore the suffering of many Americans due to the structure of capitalism here. We could change what we value but we don't. So only superficial changes are made.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Neil Gaiman wrote this book. I had never heard of him but he is a very prolific writer -- comic books, science fiction, novels, kids books.. he does it all.

I wish I could talk to him because I have no idea what this book was about.. He says he is very proud of this story. When I read it, I felt like I was reading a very accurate description of someone's dream.. maybe on a night they took cold medicine. A woman in my book club recommended it after finding it on a list of "good feminist books." Other than the presence of a family of three generations of women who have mystical power, I am not sure why it is considered a feminist book.

I just don't know.

That said, I enjoyed reading it.

Whistler!

! because Whistler is one of my favorite places. I love snow because of the silence. The mountains that make the resort are unlike anything in Washington state.  It's a beautiful place with phenomenal skiing. After purchasing an edge pass, skiing there is cheaper than it is locally. All good things.

Born a crime

When I saw this book in the book store, I assumed it could not be that interesting. Lots of people have 1 white parent and 1 black parent. Lots of people are from South Africa. Since Trevor Noah hosts the Daily Show, I assumed he came from a privileged background because how else could he be here now? His father was probably a diplomat.

Sometimes, I am amazed about how much I don't know about anything.

Trevor Noah's story is really incredible. He was born in South Africa during apartheid. His parents were not married because they could not legally marry. His mother had to hide him from the police for the first few years of his life until it was no longer illegal for a black and white person to have a child. He grew up in Sowetto. His mother raised him and she has to be one of the most dedicated and incredible parents I have ever met by memoir. She was really clear about her values. They spent A LOT of time in church and she really didn't care what Trevor thought about that. His life was so filled with obstacles and hardship, it's just a miracle that he ever arrived here.

But, I finally understood why he was chosen to take over Jon Stewart's position at the Daily Show. No one could really fill Stewart's shoes. Noah is probably the only person on the planet with the resilience to do it. He could take his time to make the show his own because whatever he'd experience in the meantime was nothing compared to the challenges he faced growing up.

Incredible story.